Top Ten NPD Mental Illnesses...

Once upon a time, I wrote a monthly email newsletter called The Critical Path and featured a regular top ten list. Here we reach into the archives to give this material some new life...seems the right type of post for a Friday.

TOP TEN NPD MENTAL ILLNESSES
...from the MRT satellite office in Bellevue, WA

10. Design of Expyromania – Unnatural joy from testing products for flammability

9. Webinarcolepsy – You immediately fall asleep when joining any online meeting

8. Pre-traumatic Launch Disorder – Anxiety caused by anticipation of missed delivery dates

7. VOC Syndrome by Proxy – The burning need to tell anyone who will listen that a popular product feature was your idea

6. Man-hour-ic Depression – Sense of hopelessness triggered by lack of project resources

5. Project Approval Deficit Disorder (PADD) – Inability to understand how to get past the first phase gate

4. CAD/CAMnesia – Inability to remember the location of subassembly drawings and BOMs

3. Paranoid SixSigmaphrenia – Chronic belief that you are being persecuted by a vast TQM conspiracy

2. Obsessive FiveS-ive Disorder – Compulsive need to constantly reorganize your workspace

...and the number one NPD Mental Illness:

1. Consultourette’s Syndrome – A brain wiring problem that causes the sufferer to randomly blurt out buzzwords and acronyms during meetings